wow i should just make this a weekend thing now huh? =P
anyways so whats new? hmm...somehow i got into this game called Gunbound. its really neato and well...yea! its kind of like those old-school type of games where you aim a canon and you have to use angles and power to launch a shot over to an enemy. its a really neato game! but whatever. anyways...i had other purpose for this entry.
its hard these days thinking about things in life. why am i lazy? i mean i swear i can do things people want me to do, but it takes me like ages to get it done. and when i do it, its in a rush and its mediocre...far from what i am capable of doing. this might sound egotistic but its true. i mean anyone is capable of doing THE best in their field if they worked hard at it. even non-Tensai's like me =) you just gotta work at it and do you're best. but there are always those times...where you just cant stand yourself yah know? what can i say....how about me? im so angry at myself for my procrastination and my looks. first of all i want to do things that I WANT TO DO first...like play video games. then i want to do the important stuff. its such a bad habbit, and i want to get rid of it. im trying, and i had one time where it worked. but then NEW THINGS come along to rip me away from the routine. its sad i know....but blah. i just want to be able to show people that i can be focused and do things that are necessary for me to become successful throughout life. i got accepted into Pomona...which is really neat and all. but Pomona is so mediocre to me...i feel like i could of done better. but life will give me that second chance in College and Graduates school, being an Engineering [slash] Computer major. ill be able to redeem myself later on in life with a success story for the ages! i just need to start my new routines now. and then there's my physical and emotional attributes. i hate them to death! im such a stupid little boy with dreams...dreams of a good job, a family, a good, no amazing wife. whats wrong with that? doesnt everyone have those dreams of love? ill tell you whats wrong with that. teens my age are just not capable of a true love like that, or at least not most of us. we are too immature and brash to practice a thing called true love. but like i said there are always exceptions. im just not one of them. a pitiful romantic i am...lost in the ages of Bushido and Chivalry. i always believed that if i worked hard at looking good, having the best of life, and money that girls would gravitate toward me. but lets see...im good looking from afar, but afar from good looking. [jokes] and i dont want the best of things, just things i want from now on. but girls dont like things i like. [sigh] and well....i myself am poor. cant get a job till college days. so yea i got nada of what a girl wants. or what i BELIEVE they want. [sarcasm start] they may TELL you different, but you know what they really are saying. [sarcasm end.] anyways my head is just in the clouds. its hard to kind of say how i feel about things. i can make examples though. like clothing, see i feel different in different clothes.
pajamas: first thing in the morning im wearing my wife-beater [what a name...] and my pj pants. comfortable stuff, and im usually nonchalant about things till they hit me later on.
school clothes: this is mostly the next thing to wear. its usually an undershirt, then the polo shirt, then the pants. i lost my sweater, and im still kind of mad about it. but im a little over it. ill just buy a new one. [sigh] more waste of money. anyways, my school clothes are actually neat. i can wear them even when im NOT in school and still feel good. sometimes...
home clothes: its usually jeans and a shirt. nothing fancy 'cause im not a fancy kind of guy. plus im pretty average build...less than even. marginally average...so i got no SPECTACULAR clothes to wear. [sigh]
car clothes: i have car clothing! i wear certain things when i drive! like my gloves, or my headband, or my doo rags [aka white shirts on top of my head] they just make me feel more....confident.
weekend clothes: yea these are just whatever i feel like putting on. whatever i see that i can make a match out of...i put them on and see if they work. sometimes i get it right....and sometimes...i come up with a whole different thing. =P
notes: other things to take note of is when i wear my doo rags, i feel like i look so much better. 'cause my hair is just a mess and my face is well....yucky. [looks at pictures from previous posts, laughs] yea yucky, just making sure. having a doo rag kind of erases that from my head. same with hoods on sweaters. and when i bandage my arms and legs...that makes me feel neato too. but thats only when they are available...[check naruto, thats why i wear them] i know im complicated...but thats just me. so anyways, whats all this blog for. just to announce...that im lonely and i am looking to not be single anymore. | 
